Weigh-in Drama, Changes and Challenges

Weigh-in. It never ceases to be a source of anxiety and drama. This weeks weigh-in was far from what anyone expected. Everyone had a GAIN in the double digits. Yours truly posted a gain of 19 pounds putting me up to 279. What happened? We think our scale got "fixed" and it had been broken and we didn't realize it. How so? Well here's what I know.

All but three of us were weighed in on the scale out of the men's locker room that was brought to the conference room for our initial weigh-in. This is the same scale that we have been using for weigh-ins every week. The other three women were weighed in on the scale in the women's locker room. I have thought the scale in the women's locker room is possessed because I would weigh in on it during the week and it would show me anywhere from 8-12 pounds heavier than what I weighed in at on Monday. My home scale is no help because I need to replace the battery. It has been reading the same 0.6lb. weight range for 3 1/2 weeks now, and I KNOW that isn't right. We have commented during weigh in that we think the scales are possessed. Even the guys have said that when they step on the scale when it is in the men's locker room showed them 10 pounds higher than what they weighed in at on Monday. Most everyone else (except me) had been weighing in on their home scales too and the weights were drastically different. We thought our home scales were wrong because the gym's has to be more accurate right? It is one of the fancy balance scales that you see in the doctor's office. And who doesn't want to believe the scale that says you weigh less?

So what accounts for the weight difference? Well first the scales we are using are intended to be put on a hard level surface and left alone. Moving them around is bad. They go out of calibration being jostled around and all that. Also the flooring in the conference room is carpet. Not good to have it on a squishy floor, no matter how thin that carpet might be. As to what finally triggered it to weigh right last night? No clue.

What does this mean for the contest? I don't know. Next week we are weighing in on the same scale as well as a digital one placed on the tile floor out in the hall. We will go from there. I don't think it is fair to go off our original weights where 3 of the contests have a "correct" starting weight, and the rest of us have a starting weight that is off by 8-10 pounds or more. I really don't like thinking about that, because that means I was MUCH closer to 300 pounds than I realized. I might have even been over. And I know I am on the right track now, but the thought of that still makes me sad. Anyways, since we don't know if the scale was universally off for everyone we can't add 8 pounds to everyone's starting weight. I don't know how they are going to determine a winner in this thing at all. But as one of the gals said Monday night, we aren't gaining the weight back to start over!!

Oh and I am also dead last again. I am behind around 2.5% or something like that from the next person. This is so frustrating! I know it's just a number, but damn it its an important one. Especially when you are involved in a contest! Could you imagine the news hype if something like this happened on Biggest Loser?? But I know there have been changes in my body and I would like to know how much I have truly lost to just have a gauge. My initial weigh in seemed right to me. I had put my weight around 290 in my entry and I started at 286. I didn't think a thing of it. But if I had been higher, that means my percentage loss is higher than it is. And damn it, I was pretty damn proud to say that I had lost 10% of my body weight so far in this thing. Now I have to work to get to 10% again. ARGH.


After weigh in I got to thinking about it, and I know my weight wasn't right. I know how my body was several years ago when I was at 260. I was well into my 22's and almost into my size 20 jeans. Right now I am just starting to fit into my 22's. Some of them fit and some don't, but my 24's are baggy. It frustrating, in a good way. I have noticed other changes too this week and I will list them below. I am sorry if some of these are a little bit personal, but I count them as successes.

1) I am definitely stronger. I am up to 132 pounds on the leg press from a start of 88 pounds. On the chest press I started at 20 pounds and yesterday I was pressing 60 on my last set. There are others too, but these are the ones I remember.

2) My clothes are more loose. I am almost down a full pant size. I am already down a shirt size. I am almost down a bra size depending on the style of bra.

3) My butt looks better.

4) I don't have to lift skin to touch my belly button, and there is less of my belly in general

5) I can do the elliptical again for 30 minutes.

6) I can do oblique crunches for 2 minutes straight

7) Laying in bed the other day I realized the most important one. My back doesn't hurt!!! I still have muscle soreness, but the skeletal issues aren't hurting like they used to!

There 7 changes for 7 official pounds lost. Oh, and for inches lost this week. 1" off my neck and 2" off my belly!!

I do not believe that 19 pound gain! It is not all muscle in one weeks time. I am not training that hard. But I am working hard and doing a lot of things right. I am feeling good again. Physically and mentally.

Sorry for the length of the post, but there was a lot to talk about. With that I am off to sleep before having to head up to Wyoming for the weekend tomorrow. And here are some updated pics of me that I took at the gym yesterday. Sorry they are so blurry. I think I need to clean the lens on my phone.

279 pounds. Feb. 2012

And the side view.

 Quote of the day: "It's the little things done consistently over time, straight from your heart, that actually have the greatest impact." ~Unknown

Feeling it

I plateaued this week at weigh in and stayed the same. Everyone did this week in fact. To be honest, it didn't come as a surprise to me. With the major losses we have had so far (which a lot was water weight I am sure) it was bound to happen. And just knowing how my body is when I have worked out before, I was fully expecting to plateau either this week or next.

I had my weekly training yesterday evening. I went into it knowing it was going to be a rough workout since I had told Sandy I had plateaued, but it was rougher than I thought it would be. Part of the problem was I woke up later than I planned to get to the gym. I wanted to be to the gym by 5pm so I could get a 30 minute warm up in, and I woke up at 4:50. So I was groggy, moving in a panic because I was late, and didn't stop to eat anything before I worked out. Not eating was a mistake, at one point I started feeling a little sick but it passed quickly. Still it isn't a feeling I like. There was also a moment during the workout where I about just broke down in tears. It has happened to me before where I have pushed myself so hard it just pushes me over the edge emotionally and I just stop and breakdown and cry. It is an emotional reaction, but it is hard to describe the emotions that are brought up in that moment and why it happens for me. Luckily it too passed and things were good for the rest of the workout.

I felt kind of bad during my workout yesterday because I knew I wasn't my normal self. My trainer noticed it as well and kept asking if I was ok or if I was hurting. I really appreciated her concern, but most of it was I just wasn't fully awake yet. That and I would most definitely say if I was in pain. It wouldn't do either of us any good if I wasn't honest with Sandy about that.

 After my workout I started feeling A LOT better in so many ways. Of course there was the endorphin rush, and the general good feeling after a hard workout, but it was more than that. It took me a while to figure out what I was feeling and I finally figured it out after I had been at work several hours last night. I am starting to feel like I did even just 3 years ago, but more around 5 years ago when I had lost 30 pounds. I am feeling better physically and mentally. I am feeling stronger. I feel the strength building in my body and that I am moving better. I don't hurt as much as I used to. Even more importantly, I am starting to feel better in my own skin again. I feel  more like "me" and happy again. Not that I am just in a flabby shell. I am starting to feel beautiful and pretty again. I'm even feeling sexy *gasp*! I know I have always been these things, but it has been a long time since I have truly felt that way. I also feel like I am finally starting to lose weight and inches. We were all commenting at weigh in Monday night that none of us really felt like we had lost the weight that we have. I still really don't feel like I have lost 20 pounds even though I have. I don't know if it is because I haven't dropped a pant size yet even though I am down a shirt size or what it is, but I haven't felt like I have lost weight. I am starting to feel it now a little bit. Maybe I just shocked my body so much that it is just taking time to catch up and realize what the heck I have done to it!

As my Uncle told me the other night, I am at war with my body and right now it is fighting back. So just one day at a time and one step at a time. I'm not stopping now!

Quote for the day:
"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is a beauty, admire it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it, Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is life, fight for it!"  -Mother Teresa

Adrenalin high

Just a quick post before I head back to bed and then work tonight.

I just got home from my second session with my trainer Sandy. She is awesome, I love her attitude, but she kicked my butt today. I feel awesome for it, but I KNOW I will feel it tomorrow!!

Sandy did give me a bit of an update on the contest I entered. She said it looks like I stand a good chance of being one of the chosen contestants. They have only had 30-40 entrants so far! She also said that another trainer was pointing out my name and she wanted to tell him that I was taken! It made me smile. I am happy Sandy wants to work with me as much as I want to work with her. I will find out on Monday if I get it or not!! I would love it! Oh! And the contest runs 9 weeks and not 6 weeks. So that's 3 more sessions with a trainer for free. Bonus!

Also a quick weigh in note. When I weighed myself before starting with Sandy I was at 285.3, this afternoon's weigh-in when I got up to go to the gym....282.8! 2.5 down!! Oh yeah! It's a good day.

And yes I have an adrenalin high right now.

And I am off to sleep some more before work.

Motivational quote of the day: "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." -Lau Tzu