I'm coming up on a year post-op. I haven't kept on this like I had planned and hoped, and then there was so much to say I didn't know where to start.
As I mentioned in my last post, I've been struggling with a lot with feeling like I should be farther along than I am. Some days are better than others, but it's there. I had thought about posting about this on some of the online groups I'm a part of, and just haven't. So I decided to ask in the virtual post-op support group meeting put on by my hospital.
The people in my group are so awesome and supportive as is the therapist who moderates the sessions.
I got a lot of great advice, but one thing the therapist caused a lightbulb moment.
I'm down 90 pounds from my highest, and 60 from surgery. I want to lose another 50-60 pounds. Even though I'm not where I want to be, that's ok. It's also ok to be proud of what I have done so far. It's ok to be proud of taking charge of my health. It's ok to be proud of myself, period. She said I need to learn to give myself permission to be proud.
It's ok to give myself permission to be proud.
I have no idea why this struck me so hard. Of course it is ok. But sometimes we need to hear it from an outside source.
Other suggestions from folks in my group:
- Reread the letter I had to write as part of the approval process for surgery
- Go buy some new clothes and get rid of the stuff that doesn't fit
- Keep track of Non-scale victories
- Go back and look at pictures
- Stop comparing myself to others
I do have a stack of clothes to sell and a stack to go donate.
I need to dig out my journal and write more NSV's down. I used to do that a lot, and I need to get back in the habit.
I haven't taken a lot of pictures the last 6 months because of the pandemic. I need to take more.
I will dig out my letter and reread that. I should also dig out the binder from the doc and refresh myself on some of that.
Remind myself more to not compare myself to others. It's so hard to not do, but comparison is the thief of joy. This is my journey, and no one else's.
