Total weight lost - 71.8 lbs
Lost since surgery - 49.8 lbs.
Percent weight lost - 21.8%
Total inches lost - 33.5
Between my last post and now I'm shy of 20 pounds lost in 3 months. I have to keep telling myself it's not just "only" 20 pounds lost. I'm still in the supposed honeymoon phase and supposed to be losing around 10 pounds a month. It's been one of my mental blocks for the last couple of months. I'm slowly working around it.
It's odd when I sit here and say to myself I've only lost so much weight when I look at the total amount I have lost a lot. It's also been rough mentally because I don't see it a lot of the time. I'm still wearing old clothes because they still fit. Although just barely in some cases. It's left me guessing if it's the style of clothes I purchased or if they fit that bad on me 6 months ago. I think it's a bit of both if I'm honest. Some days I see it. Some days I don't. It's kind of what it is at this point. I think it's going to stay this way for a while.
The biggest struggle recently is just the number on the scale. Not the fact that I'm not as low as I want. It's more of the fact, I'm closest to the lowest I've been in my adult life. The last time I was in the 250s was when I was still living in South Dakota and had first joined T.O.P.S. Getting under 250 will be a huge milestone for me. It has lead to a mental block and scares me at the same time. I have tried and failed so many times. To get past this number will be a relief and I know it's not just going to be for "now". I don't feel like I'm explaining it well.
There's also a lot of unknowns on the other side of that number. I do truly see it as a wall in my mind to get over. Or maybe under, around or through. Who the hell knows. I'm just tired of the mental struggles with it. It even led to me eating things I wasn't supposed to and I know that played into my stall. I also wasn't tracking my food. Now that I've gotten back on track the last couple weeks the scale is moving in the right direction.
Aside from the usual mental games I play with myself, things are going really good. Dr. Greene is really pleased with how well my scars are healing and my general progress. I need to do my best to stay away from grains and fruits still even though I can eat them in small quantities. As for other foods, I can eat damn near anything and be ok. I'm finding chicken, ground turkey, and fish sit best in my new tummy. Steak is far too heavy and sits like a rock. Ground beef is ok. It depends if I've cooked it into something like burritos or if it's a burger.
I joined a gym at the beginning of the year. I've been missing not going the last 10 days. At first, it was because I was getting some of my scarves ready to sell at a convention this weekend. So I was focused on that. Then with the coronavirus starting to spread so quickly, I decided it was best to stay away as gyms can be very gross. Which bums me out a bit. I've gotten back into swimming and I'm loving it more than ever before.
Right now I'm swimming about 1400m in an hour. In October I'm doing the swimming portion of a triathlon relay with a team from work. I'll have to swim 1900m. So I've been working on endurance mostly. But it's still so easy for me to get lost in the swim and not realize an hour has gone by. I've also been getting back into strength training which is helping me swim faster. So all around I'm loving my workouts.
Here are some of the other non-scale victories I've had over the past 6 months:
- Better balance
- Not getting winded walking up 3 flights of stairs
- Lunges don't hurt my knees anymore (or at least as much)
- Wrap a towel completely around me
- Smaller shoe size (from 9-9.5 to 8-8.5)
- Ring size from 8 to 5.5
- Less low back pain
- Can buy XXL shirts and skirts it the normal sizes section
- Had to move the seat forward in my car
- Discovering I actually have collar bones and a tailbone (note: I have to be careful how I sit and for how long)
- Finding I do, in fact, have knees
- Feeling more comfortable in pictures
- Playing a game of "do I still like this food?" or "will I like this food"
- Daring to take part in a triathlon - even as just part of a relay
- Can walk for several miles without issue and not be dead afterwards
This morning I also got a notification when I put in my weight into MyFitnessPal. I didn't realize I was so close to the halfway point, and I'm actually at 51% of the way to my goal weight. That blew my mind. Then I started thinking and realized I'm less than 40 pounds away from the top end of the range I set as my goal range. I put in a 40-pound range because I didn't know where my body would end up being happy and what would be maintainable. To actually feel so close to goal is....different. I can't explain it beyond that.
That's it for now. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. :)